Thoughts and Feelings

I have a million thoughts a minute, most of them are negative, but ask me about feelings and you will get a blank look, unless you want to talk about anger, now thats a feeling I know about.  Feelings have always baffled the heck out of me, put me in a room of crying people and I would happily jump through a window on the 10th floor!

When it comes to dealing with feelings I am seriously lacking, and I have much work to do in this area.  For me, talking about feelings is very hard to do, it makes me feel vulnerable (as it should) but it is a feeling I hate and makes me feel so unbelievably uncomfortable it’s not even funny.

Some people are really good at talking about how they feel, in fact they are so good that they could easily turn it into a professional sport.  I am glad I am not that way inclined, because I think that would drive me, and others really crazy, and I am crazy enough thank you very much.

So, where was I?  Oh yes, thoughts and feelings.  I am on a mission at the moment to understand my thoughts and feelings and the impact they have on myself and others.  It is interesting that your thoughts can have both a direct and/or indirect impact on others, this is something I didn’t give any real credence to for a long time.  I thought everything was about me.  From my own perspective mental health problems can make people behave in a selfish manner, and in a way being selfish is actually beneficial to recovery.

So, what are feelings?  Source: allaboutdepression.com

• Frightened
  • afraid
  • anxious
  • apprehensive
  • dread
  • edgy
  • horrified
  • nervous
  • overwhelmed
  • panicked
  • scared
  • tense

• Ashamed
  • embarrassed
  • guilty
  • humiliated
  • insulted
  • invalidated
  • regretful
  • remorseful
  • shamed

• Angry
  • annoyed
  • disgusted
  • enraged
  • frustrated
  • grouchy
  • hatred
  • hostile
  • irritated
  • jealous
  • mad
  • outraged
  • resentful

• Sad
  • abandoned
  • alone
  • defective
  • dejected
  • depressed
  • despair
  • disappointed
  • discouraged
  • empty
  • grief
  • helpless
  • hopeless
  • inadequate
  • incompetent
  • inferior
  • insecure
  • isolated
  • lonely
  • neglected
  • rejected
  • unhappy
  • worthless

This week I am concentrating on watching my feelings and becoming aware of how I feel.  This post is far from complete and it is something I will return to over the coming weeks and months.